In the News: Blow job queen runs afoul of sharp things

Meet the 30-year-old Georgia woman who won herself a Darwin Award nomination trying to impress her equally dim-bulb friends with her purported deep-throat skills. Here's your stupid sign. Careful, it has sharp edges.

The Five Greatest "To Catch a Predator" moments

I'll confess, I'm a huge fan of watching assholes get their comeuppance. As such, I'm also a huge fan of MSNBC'S "To Catch a Predator". For those not in the know, the show is a hidden camera expose of pedophiles attempting to solicit minors online and being caught in the act.

She went out through the bathroom window

Author's Note: The following story is true. Names have been changed to protect the dim-witted. Because if they were fucking stupid enough to lose their clothes then they almost certainly couldn't handle a day in court.

A few summers ago I lived near a little dive bar out in BFE southern Indiana. Those of you who have actually been here can easily picture what kind of place I'm talking about. At any rate it was the only halfway entertaining place for miles and had good drink specials, so sweet. I spent a lot of time over there during the first few months and quickly made friends with the regulars and the employees. I use the term "friends" loosely; most of these guys believed that an awkward boob grab was a suitable greeting. I suspect that paint huffing during pregnancy was endemic in this area, but I digress.